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Confession: I don’t remember who spoke at my college graduation. I vaguely remember that it was a guy, but I can’t tell you what he said.

When I asked my Facebook friends and followers about their memories, several were able to name the speaker but few could recall the message.

Sure, there are commencement speakers who deliver truly memorable addresses that resonate with graduates. But I think we can all agree that most commencement speeches sound exactly the same.

At Boston College’s commencement on Monday, one grad napped while another yawned. (AP Photo/Stephan Savoia) (Stephan Savoia - AP) Therefore, I have compiled a commencement speech that could be given to any Class of 2012 anywhere using cherry-picked quotes from real (and, actually, quite wonderful) speeches. I hope this fake speech inspires you to reach for the stars, hold fast to your dreams and be part of tomorrow’s generation of leaders.

I. Greet the crowd and bask in the glory of applause. (You can also lead everyone in the school’s chant, even if you just learned it. Or mention the weather.)

“Thank you for inviting me to participate in this important occasion. I'm honored and humbled to be among you today. To the graduating class of 2012, I say congratulations!”(Adam Savage) (Pause for applause) “I feel so important!”(Jane Lynch)

II. Recognize the check-writing parents, who might be the only ones listening to you right now.

Let’s take a moment to “thank those extraordinary people up in the bleachers with the cameras and the beaming smiles on their faces. Yes, I’m talking again about your families — the folks who pushed you and believed in you; the folks who always picked up the phone when you called, even when you were just calling to ask for money.”(Michelle Obama)

I wrote an article for Saturday’s paper about controversial commencement speakers, as the weekend brought two examples in the District alone.

On Friday, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius spoke at a Georgetown University award ceremony and was heckled by an antiabortion activist. On Sunday, George Washington University presented an honorary degree to Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim, as about 100 Latinos protested.

Sebelius and Slim aren’t the first commencement honorees to attract opposition. Here are a few others:

James Franco backed out of UCLA’s commencement in 2009. (John M. Heller - Getty Images)

James Franco & UCLA. The Class of 2009 was supposed to hear from Franco, the famous actor who had recently graduated from UCLA. But then a group of students launched a Facebook group protesting the speaker choice, saying that Franco was not accomplished enough to address them. The LA Times reported that one student wrote this on Facebook: “He is a fine actor . . . and a very good-looking guy, but it should take more than that to be keynote speaker at such a prestigious university's graduation ceremony.”

Franco backed out of that engagement, citing a filming commitment in Ireland, and was replaced by the lead guitarist from Linkin Park. (P.S. This spring Franco spoke at the University of Texas at Arlington commencement and received cheers from the crowd.)

This guest post was written by Chris Lyford, a news aide at The Post.

Theon O’Connor, a senior at Georgetown University, sprang from the sedan that was idling in a neighborhood near campus and bounded toward students’ homes.

“Whoa! Donations here!” O’Connor, 23, yelled to the sedan’s driver, stopping at a couch resting on the sidewalk. “But there’s no way I can get this — that’s a big couch. Let me make a call.”

He dialed another student for help. O’Connor is one of nearly 30 Georgetown students who volunteered for the university’s fifth annual “Spring Into Service Move-Out Drive” this month. Over the course of eight days, the volunteers collected unwanted clothing, food and household items.

Georgetown students Patrick Gordon (foreground) and Robert Jackson (rear), haul away a donated couch from an off-campus student home. (Photo by Chris Lyford)

As many students clean out their group houses, apartments or dormitory rooms at the end of the semester, they often find they have items that are either unwanted or difficult to transport home. Georgetown is one of several area schools that have partnered with local charities so that end-of-the-year castoffs can find a new life in the homes of in-need families instead of landing in a dumpster.

Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius told some Georgetown University graduates Friday that a “process of conversation and compromise” is required when religious issues intersect with policy decisions.

Sebelius, speaking to graduates of the university’s Public Policy Institute, said that to participate in policy debates “will also require the ethical skills you have honed – the ability to weigh different views, see issues from other points of view, and in the end, follow your own moral compass.”

In her remarks, she did not discuss the 2010 health care law or refer directly to controversies about contraception coverage that drew attention to her appearance at the Jesuit university.

Leaders of the Catholic Church have argued that inviting Sebelius to speak at graduation was inappropriate given that she was deeply involved with the development and implementation of the law, which requires that employers provide contraception coverage even if it is against their religious beliefs.

During the speech, someone stood up and shouted at Sebelius: “You’re a murderer!” The person was escorted away from the scene, and Sebelius kept talking. She received an enthusiastic reception from the graduates themselves.

Graduates of the Georgetown University Public Policy Institute will gather Friday morning for an awards ceremony and keynote speech by a woman who has riled up controversy in the Catholic Church in recent months: Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius.

Leaders of the Catholic Church have argued that the invitation was inappropriate given that Sebelius was a key architect of the 2010 health-care law, which requires that employers provide contraception coverage even if it is against their religious beliefs. Georgetown, the country’s oldest Catholic university, has frequently found itself swept into the national debate about the health-care mandate and religious freedom.

Talk show host Rush Limbaugh’s attack on Georgetown University law student Sandra Fluke for her support of contraceptive coverage — and President Obama’s subsequent public outreach to Fluke — further heightened Georgetown’s profile in the heated debate over contraceptive coverage.

Earlier this week, Washington’s archbishop called Georgetown’s invitation to Sebelius “shocking.” More than 27,000 people signed a petition circulated by a conservative Catholic think tank that urged the university to find a new speaker.

Georgetown President John J. DeGioia, in turn, issued a statement on Monday that defended the invitation. “The Secretary’s presence on on our campus should not be viewed as an endorsement of her views,” he wrote.